First of all, I sincerely want to thank everyone who stumbled upon my post on 'Faith' and left a comment. You have no idea what it means to me to have complete strangers leave me such inspiring words. That's actually the reason I began to blog in the first place so many years ago: I wanted to be able to leave unfiltered thoughts in the air in hopes that someone would respond, not through judgment, but with understanding. So amazing; so many thanks.
It's only fitting that I am still getting comments on that post as we round out week one of the Lenten season. Lent sneaks up on me every year. It's never until Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras) that I realize Ash Wednesday is the following day and I need to determine what to sacrifice for the weeks leading up to Easter. Some years it's something relatively trite, either out of pure laziness or out of perceived need: cursing, X type of food, etc. This year, however, I gave it some thought (albeit the night before) and came up with something conceptual rather than purely deprivation-related:
No excuses.
For Lent, I gave up (or, rather, am attempting to give up) making excuses - for my conduct, for my actions, for my inaction, for my thoughts, and for everything else I could think of. For me, that means not sitting back out of frustration and letting things happen around me. It means staying focused, staying proactive, and continually trying to make something happen - without using the excuse of "it's too hard," or "it's just not meant to be right now."
In the last week, I've truly challenged myself...most notably, physically. I happen to live with people who are relatively athletic (or once were) and who five weeks ago began a workout regimen. Well, not just any one...they started P90X. Yeah, THAT P90X, from the informercials. I continually made excuses and a general lack of effort to join my roommates in their quest ... usually citing laziness or general unwillingness. So as I stood in the shower on the morning of Ash Wednesday, I determined I would be sure to extend "No excuses" to every corner of my life - including physical activity. The next day I began a similar program to that of my roommates (same workouts, different schedule for different results) and have stuck with it every day since. This is a big deal for me, no matter how trivial it may seem to some. It has taken a great deal of discipline and resolve for me to fight my body into doing these exercises on a daily basis. But, in all truth, at 25 years old I was (am) tired of my body being the way that it is, and I know that it will be far easier for me to make a change now than 5, 10, 15 years down the line.
The Lenten season is not all about deprivation. It's not about denying yourself for the simple sake of denial. It's about growth: growing in yourself, growing in your faith. Growing in the belief that (cliche' alert) "if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." It's about calling on that inner strength and faith to tell yourself that you will not give into the temptation to quit, thereby stunting any progress you're making. It tests you to call on your faith to make it through you perceived "darkest hour(s)".
I'm realizing I make a million excuses a day, and it's an eye-opener to see the things I simply refuse to do out of habitually telling myself "I can't" or "I won't." This has to change. I will never, ever get these days of my life back. This is it.
"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for you to stand upon, or, you will be taught how to fly" - Patrick Overton
