Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Day 3

I woke trying to put a name to the unknown;
trying to develop sense that extended beyond the concrete under my feet.
Brick and mortar being to belief.

Each step assigned proof to falsehoods long known to be deified gospel,
shaking to the core a system of words given life through poison breath without reason to be;
a gift of cursed delusion never questioned but only exalted through anonymity.

Who is, was, or ever will be?

The street caved beneath me,
an earthen reminder of dust begetting dust as its core swallowed me whole.
Falling up,
ascension through subtraction.
Lights and signs and truisms lost to chasmic cosmos,
chaotic indulgences of a lesser-known.
Control defined not as leashed direction but as unbridled suspension;
dynamic stasis.

Grasping at air the color of denial,
finding life's mystery in the songs of those long defeated
but never lost to immortal love.
Calling out to no one for no such thing.
Clawing at never.
Horns and sirens and panic-stricken masses of brittle blood,
liquid bone,
never arrived to attest to what befell my descent -
the world hadn't disintegrated beneath their feet
leaving them to decipher glyphs on walls made of ground,
or set their ears afire with words from worlds unseen -
no one else had been tasked as human sand in celestial hourglass
with giving title to what is not known.
Only me,
left midflight with one stirring thought,
one rhyme, its sing-song singeing itself into suited flesh:


"What is and will be waits for no name;
And that which once was n'er once did the same."

NaPoMo 2013

I'm participating in National Poetry Month's 30 Day Challenge for the first time ever. Even got myself an accountability partner, which helps more than you can imagine.

I'm not following any scheme... no particular prompts (yet). Just going with one a day and seeing what comes of it. Considering taking the 30 and automatically creating a chapbook out of it.

I'll share the ones I want to various places online... some have hit my tumblr; some will be here. Just support me in my journey, if you can. I appreciate it.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Love Like A Sunset ...

Your effect on my habit is undeniable.

Unfettered, each step toward the hint of normalcy that returns
every morning beyond my coffee cup
Paling in comparison to the black bottom of a soul
left unlit yet enlightened
Punctuated by a pallid memory of unmade manifesto
malnurtured between here and office walls
Destroying sentiments of certitude
conveniently always right where left
under squandered misanthropic musings
A series of words not sentences
sentenced to die behind those eyes iced over
Glazed rounds not sweet sour sold on sordid
soiled sheets of loose leaf netbook paper
Twisted cavorted caroling
consoling souls of mischevious intent
not intending current consequence or subsequent conference
concurrent with conventional discord \\

So she says; dissonant spiral

Monday, December 17, 2012

Porto ...

I want to learn the language of you:
the one spoken informally, at home under your skin
between two tin cans stretching sinew from here to the half-moon.
Teach me on nude floorboards over darjeeling
how to converse fluently with your essence
until words give way; until horizons birth tomorrow through shuttered walls.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Unsettled ...


She is my Marla Singer: the one who hates me so much, I could die.

And I am the worst thing to ever happen to her.

Lit cigarette, hair a raging mess. Shades so big the darkness envelops her. The attitude is in her walk: a cat strut that is equal parts "fuck me" and "fuck you." It's only after she comes to her senses that she remembers to cast me aside. The lucidity that arrives on the south side of an orgasm never ceases to snap one back to reality. From king to commoner in a little less than slow blink of the eyes. I become the vessel, a mere means to an end as old as time, while each of my vices come back into view. And that is precisely the moment she chooses to look elsewhere. It's as if I'm the cancer - some sort of malignant growth on her perfectly cupped ass that she can't wait to cut out. Or maybe a boil. Yes. A boil: painful, annoying, but harmless enough to keep around with the hope that it will burst all by itself. If she's waiting for me to implode like some kind of neutron star...

But the sex. Oh, the sex.

She lets me fuck her like the animal that I am - biting, gnawing, scratching, clawing. The cigarette burns on the side of the bed like an idling taxi in the rain, ready to take her back to the bowels of the urban hell she calls home. She wants me. Her moans melt into screams that turn into echoes of silence bouncing off the walls of my mind.  Most nights I leave my body, watching from above like some existential pervert at a ten-cent peep show while the shadow of myself slams wildly into her. It's as if I can disconnect from an act that by its very nature can be no more distant. It's all very mechanical, really; there is no love there. No emotion. In. Out. In. Out. Switch. Move this. Grab that. I only kiss her to shut her up.

(The neighbors. Nosy as hell, and always apt to complain. Never in words. Just judgmental stares. Even their dog. Snotty little shit.)

Day or night, she tells me when she's ready. I have no say in the matter. Always ready to deliver. FedSex. The call used to come attached to a tale, but no longer. No more drunken nights or emotional voids. No more self-pity or self-destruction. No words: she comes; we fuck; we cum; she goes. There exists neither rhyme nor reason. Only Trojan. Pleasantries are for people who care. We can't share in what was never there. But whether or not the story starts the same, we always arrive at the same last page: smoke, strut, slam, stairs, screech, silence. Me, limp-dicked and alone, picking at my frayed nerve endings, licking my emotional wounds, and wondering why in the hell I've never flipped this goddamned mattress.

She is the stain. All of the stains. And she doesn't know what I've been through. She doesn't know what I can take. I can keep at this all day; this ruse of amorphous amour. The sloppy, slovenly shitshow that is every drop-everything-and-rendezvous. If I could just scrape the taste of her rotted, rugged kiss from the roof of my mouth...

She will never get to me.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

The Sky in Front...


The allure of faint whispers.
Into you I crawl,
a beast in your being;
welcome alien.
Absolved by the colors of your sin.
Your secrets swallow me whole.
Beside you in time.
Breathe life into each recess;
exhale across my lips the words your mother taught you.
Your story best told behind closed eyes
entangled in twisted silken sheets
and heard through thin walls by ears unknown.
Think thoughts of forgiveness burned black.
Defy the day.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

See and Believe.

The answers are in the stars. They always have been. On nights lonely and cold, but clear to the heavens, one can always look up and see exactly what he needs to be told. No longer hating the way he feels, the stars outline the perfect path to peace - the peace he seeks without ever looking within.

We've become accustomed to asking the outside world to cut a path which we can follow. How rare is it that we look down and forge forth of our own volition? Masters of our destinies we are not; rather, slaves to celestial cartography. Drifters on the open plains of time, illuminated by specks of light that shone so brightly light-years away.

Drifters. Vagrants with no home in space or time. Hopelessly wandering the great beyond that is right in front of our faces. Crossing the chasms between us, discovering each other in ourselves. Walking, talking tragedies.

But the stars know. And from them, we are found.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Never Lose It ...

So where do I begin?
Properly: where you end,
a blown kiss in the wind imagined under city lights.

The story remains the same.

Monday, March 7, 2011

906 103 0711

If I am brother to the night call her sister to the rain:
blood beats staccato drops upon my heartstrings;
blasts neo-tribal rhythms through frozen aqueducts;
A piece of peace on the precipice of higher learning,
bestow nirvana, future fantastic.
She rolls like thunder.
And I hear her cry
breaking deafening silence through gritted teeth and shadows borne.
Her words are mountains,
her scars like the grooves of her favorite 45 -
mellow, melodic pulsing funk beneath broken skin
salted with teary-eyed wonder.

I see the jungles in her eyes.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Until It Sleeps ...

i bleed the heartbeats of a thousand others
begging for a crack in the door;
endless endearing souls fighting the queue
searching for a way home.
the stars cry streams of tears through broken skylights
and fill the wells beneath their eyes,
emptied at the feet of martyrs playing king.