Haunted ...

each night i want to
say i love you, i pass out
counting syllables.

remember the time
we laughed and laughed at nothing?
symphony of sound.

when i fall asleep
i see your smile after
"sweet dreams," good night kiss.

i shouldn't miss her,
but every so often she seizes control of my thoughts and
fixes them squarely on her skin tone.
i saw her twin today.
i had to shake myself awake to avoid the
utter indignation that arises when you
brush against the wrong shoulder or
try to stroke the wrong cheek.
heaven forbid i boldly wrap my arms
around her waist and whisper against the
side of her neck...
but i was close.

some days,
it takes every fiber of my being
to stare at the phone for six extra minutes
in lieu of pressing the pattern
that magically still leads me to her
without fail after all this time.

my sheets still speak her name
which is funny
because last night...