k.i.s.s.
stop bullshitting and k/i/s/s.
it's just that easy.
now, there's only the small matter of turning k.i.s.s. into kiss....a wholly different concept.
like the difference between 1.000 and 1000.
i suppose a shift is in order.
[a self-imposed overdose on amp energy drinks coupled with an utter lack of sleep, a disdain for the coming week, an inability to focus on the task at hand, and an acute case of attention deficit disorder has brought this on...so i suppose you have all of the above to thank for
i can't even categorize what's going on.
so i won't.
i think i'm trying to cope with this concept of coming back down from what was an amazing week off, largely free of the things that i've been putting up with and the lackluster people that have crept into my life, and having to get back to the fake smiles and pretentiousness that has become my 9:30-5 three day-a-week pseudo-grind. spring break was a hell of a time for introspection, in addition to just plain old fun. I made it my goal to do something, anything, every day... something that would allow me to enjoy my time in this city a little bit more than i may have previously. and it worked...:
- friday was the normal 2+ hours hooping, and relaxing for the remainder of the day;
- saturday i collected some friends and went to watch the US get their asses handed to them by puerto rico in the world baseball classic ... we got our revenge, but it was no fun being mocked by a bunch of territorians...;
- sunday i was invited to the ca championship at doral, so in a moment of "when else am i going to ever do this," i decided to go watch the final round of a professional golf tournament. i must say that standing 10 feet behind Tiger as he teed off at the 17th hole goes down as one of my all-time sports memories;
- monday was spent walking south beach;
- tuesday included laying on south beach with friends, in addition to st. patrick's day drunkeness and shenanigans;
- wednesday was largely spent recovering, and attempting to prepare for the weekend;
- thursday began with food, drink, and ncaa basketball downtown, followed by time spent gathering from the airport my arriving friends who were coming to spend the weekend with me;
- friday and saturday were a blur... a whirlwind of motion and hilarity, mostly spent in miami beach day and night;
- and today, an extension of last night since i returned my friends to the airport directly from the club at 5am, has been spent catching up academically for tuesday .. to little avail .. and has left me right here...
[clearly i'm just cruising around on some sophisticated-yet-simple form of autopilot. my mind and body are rarely on the same schedule, and this night is no different in that sense. the artificial energy has distorted my equilibrium.]
[imagine listening to an LP on the record player ... and not noticing when the music stops; all you hear is the pop of the vinyl, caused by the needle running out of grooves.]
[there's nothing left, but my record just keeps spinning...]
i hate songs that get me at the first note. amerie's all i have is and always was a dope album, one of my favorites in my r & b collection. but i can't listen to "nothing like loving you". i just can't. it's already hard to listen to most of the album as it is, because i can remember the last time it was in heavy rotation..constant repeat..and who it pertains to. but that song in particular - the way it comes in - makes my heart sink.
[for other examples of the same phenomenon, see, e.g., jagged edge's "promise," amel larrieux's "make me whole," and - though not so much anymore - ashanti's "movies".]
i feel my high coming down.
time to sleep to the rhythm of
city lights.
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